Canadian Jewish Political Affairs Committee
Eitan Gilboord (Conservative) | “If I could say one thing to my party leader …”
Partisan Bloger Header Eitan

If I could say one thing to my party leader, the Right Honourable Stephen Harper, besides “here is my resume”, and “this is why you should hire me” or “here is my resume and this is why I should be a senator”; it would be a recommendation for one policy change. The following is how I imagine it would pan out.

Eitan: Hello, Mr. Prime Minister.

PM: Hey Eitan! It’s a pleasure to see you again. What’s up?

Eitan: Well, Mr. Prime Minister, I am quite swell, but I am here on business rather than pleasure.

PM: It’s always a pleasure to hear from my favourite young Torontonian, be it socially or when we’re talking serious business. And, Eitan, how many times do I need to tell you, call me Stevie. Now please go on.

Eitan: Well I’ll refrain from colloquialism as this is business talk, but I do appreciate the sentiment.

Mr. Prime Minister you are quite literally (as the JNF recently showcased) a rock star. You have proven the conservative agenda is one of common sense and mass popularity. Mr. Prime Minister, you and the caucus have allowed for a strong and moral foreign and domestic policy, the likes of which Canada has not seen for decades. I am immensely proud to be a Conservative, and I credit you for instilling and reigniting that feeling of pride in me and in conservatism in general.

PM: Oh gosh (blushing), stop. There is no need for praise; we still have a lot of work to get done to help Canadians everywhere.

Eitan: Well, Mr. Prime Minister, there is one little-tiny-small-insignificant policy that I would maybe, if you have time, like to see changed.

PM: (stern look of interest and intrigue)

Eitan: (Gulp) This little policy also may be a bit unpopular with some of the base, you may need to have a constitutional change for it to occur, and it is sort-of imposing on provincial jurisdiction. But, don’t worry, I thought this one through.

What I would love for you to change would be section 93 of the constitution. It is completely abhorrent that Catholic school are receiving funding from the taxpayer. This is a problem that the UN has addressed, and a problem that continues to create more difficulties every day.

First, Catholics often feel like the Catholic school system is being slowly dissolved of its faith by having to adhere to rules of secularism. Instances of this include the controversy surrounding gay-straight alliances, the teaching of sex education, the allowance of non-Catholics into the schools, etc.

Furthermore, it is unacceptable to fund some religious schools and not others. This is discrimination and it is about time that we make a concerted effort to work with the provinces to amend the constitution and stop denominational school funding. Provinces that want to have the funding should be able to make that decision themselves, but to force its continuation due to political reasons from 1867 is too much.

Mr. Prime Minister, this government has time and time again shown that it stands with morality over popularity. Let’s continue that stance by at least trying to do the morally correct thing by amending section 93 of the constitution.

PM: Eitan, you are a smart kid and I like your spunk.

Eitan: Thank you, sir.

The Prime Minister agrees to get the ball rolling. We both skip out of the PMO holding hands and go grab some Tim’s before watching the Leafs game later that evening.

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